AS THY DAYS MAY DEMAND
Stop right now and realize how true it is that days demand things. This idea creeps me out--"days" become human and they attack us and make us do things. Days personnified. Maybe it's because the verb 'to demand' is so aggressive. It feels so mean and bossy to have something demanded of us. Has something good ever been demanded of you? I mean, certain demanding situations make us stretch and grow...but this is never a comfortable process. Oh well. While thinking about this notion that days have, are, and will demand things of me I decided to "turn it around" (I recently attended Byron Katie's workshop and learned about her very cool 4 questions--check them out at www.thework.com). The inverse would be I demand things of my days. And when I thought that, I realized something very valuable to me: on days when this is true, absolutely true, I have better days. When I demand something of my day, I am left at the end feeling more satisfied. One thing I have been demanding of my days this past week is knitting. Even when it's just a few pathetic rows, I feel thrilled. It made me feel less mad at my days when I turned it around because, we can be even--like my day will demand stuff of me but I'm going to send it right back.
Recently someone told me that he felt like his kindergarten teacher was turning him into her slave. It was very real to this person and it felt terrible. My days demand that I AM the servant to 4 small people. It is very real and sometimes can feel terrible. But what I love about turning this around is that at the bottom is I love these people. I wouldn't want my days not to be demanded of by them becuse it would mean that they weren't there. Barbra Streisand sings Being Alive. My favorite verse is the first:
Someone to hold you too close
Someone to hurt you too deep
Someone to sit in your chair
And ruin your sleep
And make you aware of being alive.
The next time your day demands something of you (which will be today) you have two options, as I see it. You can frame it as "being made aware of being alive". Or you can turn it around and serve up a demand for your day that is tricky or lovely or whatever you want it to be. I think it might make you feel better. At least, this is what I'm going to do...
Recently someone told me that he felt like his kindergarten teacher was turning him into her slave. It was very real to this person and it felt terrible. My days demand that I AM the servant to 4 small people. It is very real and sometimes can feel terrible. But what I love about turning this around is that at the bottom is I love these people. I wouldn't want my days not to be demanded of by them becuse it would mean that they weren't there. Barbra Streisand sings Being Alive. My favorite verse is the first:
Someone to hold you too close
Someone to hurt you too deep
Someone to sit in your chair
And ruin your sleep
And make you aware of being alive.
The next time your day demands something of you (which will be today) you have two options, as I see it. You can frame it as "being made aware of being alive". Or you can turn it around and serve up a demand for your day that is tricky or lovely or whatever you want it to be. I think it might make you feel better. At least, this is what I'm going to do...
posted by Susannah at 12:13 PM
5 Comments:
Susannah I was just thinking of you today while I was mopping my kitchen floor that has been so neglected. I was going just going to bed here in Ohio and I was checking my feeds and there you were. Funny. I was also thinking about knitting. I have a scarf that I have been working on for two years. I periodically pick it up and add a few rows. I think my biggest problem is a 14 month old who is fascinated with the needles. I live in fear of him pulling out one and having to start over because I can't get the needle back in. Anyway I enjoyed your post and I do know what you mean about demanding something from your day. If only I could remember it more often. Hope all is well.
I check your blog now and again; it was nice to read something today! I am going to call you sometime when it's late here and early there.
I saw your add in Blueprint Magazine and came to look online. I love your clothing. I often feel guilty about buying pretty clothing just to wear at home, but it does lift the spirits and make the everyday more fun. It's pleasant to see the work and words of another woman with the mommmy point of view. I got my smidgen of Dutch blood from my closest grandma so your history was fun to read.
The best to you and your family.
Harmon:
I haven't been on your blog in forever and I know you posted this forever ago. Still, I can't seem to get this particular post off my mind. It haunts me. Especially during demanding days like this one was. Veel liefs,
DeAnn
I read this entry about a year ago and it has stayed with me since. I miss you so much over here in ev. I have taken on your role of presiding mother of ev. Hilarious isn’t' it. I wish I still got to see you when I stepped into my back yard.
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